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Contract Multivitamin: Last Few MonthsContract Multivitamin: Last Few Months

 
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Posted: 07/17/20 02:05pm  Reply with quote
Contract Multivitamin: Last Few Months

Darrell Long
Design Principal and Regional Managing Director (Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Dallas), Wilson Associates
Los Angeles

Diary of a silly mad man…and my failures of chrono creativity…

Looking back on the past few months, I believe it would be safe, in the utmost self-depreciated way, to describe myself (at the beginning of the virus lockdown) as a rebel without a clue; pure and simple. While it makes zero professional sense to pronounce myself as an idiot-in-waiting, truth be known, idiocrasy was the perfectly spiced broth in which I cooked myself. Left to my own devices, my metaphoric epicurean immersion willingly charted the course of “from soup to nuts.”

I did the typical…I didn’t shave, which led to a more Masterpiece Theater Host-like aesthetic than the ex-rock musician cloak I have finely curated (for myself). In my mind, the beard was perfect and poignant…but, to my wife, it was a plethora of whiskers that conjured her longing for what I can only describe as a scruffy and lovable dog. We both realized that I needed to shave (it) after my left leg was twitching when she scratched my right cheek.

But this was just the first week…

I have an obsessive and addictive personality. I have playfully been described as Rain Man on Quaaludes and Crack with the scent of baby powder and Jack Daniels. The constant tedium of thoughts regarding these polarizing personality traits is in no way conducive to any type of lockdown; “where do I start? When do I stop?” My focus had about as much range as a Daisy Air rifle, and I found myself just looking out the window like some kind of hairless feline looking for warmth, all the while sitting in Charles Darwin’s waiting room…waiting to evolve creatively.

Oh geez… It’s only been eight days…

I have a good number of guitars; they are important to me, and they are perfect. They are my friend and my stress relief. But I can tell you, as my wife Sunny patiently and clearly conveyed to me with great vigor, “there is nothing sexy about playing Zeppelin in a bathrobe, particularly before my morning coffee.” That one hurt. And, as always, she was right. I was frantically searching for some brand-new-second-hand version of artistic inspiration. I was devoid of time and space. I found zero solaces in art, music, or food.

Day 10…let’s play with Whiskey….

Day 11…day 10 was a BAD IDEA.

I drifted through the following days evoking a stick-your-finger-in-a-light-socket schematic approach to work and blaming any inadequacies on technology. Hours became days, days became weeks, and weeks became months. Eventually, the metaphoric rioting in my head became a whisper, and that was good. I emerged from my Samsonite-like state, cleanly shaven, and showered. But the creative energy and idealism that has defined my life since a toddler was gone…or at least suspended. So, I did what most intellectuals do while hunting for the imaginative holy grail…I binge-watched every season, every episode of Law and Order.

Week 7 to 9…

“Mental fog with a chance of afternoon lethargy” is the only way to describe this period. I have no idea of anything other than the faded thoughts of…” I could have been a lawyer…I could have been a contender.”

At the beginning of week 10…the unwelcome turning point.

That same warm feeling I embraced in the beginning…that soaking in the spices of the unknown was back; I survived the lockdown. Even though the governmental goal post (regarding what we were experiencing societally) was moving daily, I had clarity. It lasted all of 120 seconds. But in this minuscule time, it dawned on me that I’m just not wired to create alone. I need people…I need collaboration.

I made it to the other side. Am I a better creator today because I lived through it…nope. Am I worse…nope. I honestly do not know (as I type this) where I stand. Maybe I’ll grab a few bottles of white wine and cry in the little corner of my shower; perhaps I won’t. I do know it’s going to take a bit of time to fall back into the groove, and I’m terribly excited to get out and experience the office again and all the creativity that comes with it.

Does that make me nuts…maybe. Does it mean I lost my good taste or faith…most likely not. But it does mean that through my heated submersion in the bouillabaisse of all these chrono issues, I will at least taste good.
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